life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
