I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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