CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
