It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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