Don't you send me to vm
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
