So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
