btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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