dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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