from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Randomize
