I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
