all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
