I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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