And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
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