i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
