Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
