'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
