I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
