Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
