We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
