i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
