But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Someone signed my nipple.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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