I swear she didn't look like that last week.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
