i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
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