i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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