and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
