i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
