exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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