Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
