So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
