This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
