Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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