Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
