they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
