He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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