yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
