i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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