Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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