im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
