When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
