Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
