areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
