I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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