Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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