butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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