I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
