Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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