He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
