omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Randomize
