what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
