Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
