You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
