I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
