and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
