he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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