Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
