wake up i wanna do it froggy style
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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