The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
my poor anus
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
