Will you blow on my dice?
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Randomize
