god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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