Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
