you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
