how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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