all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Randomize
