I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
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