Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
