where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
the condom got lost in my hair
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Randomize