If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
