You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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