is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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