plz talk dirty to me
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Randomize
