Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I need to align my fucking chakras
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
